I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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