I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
