i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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