apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
