so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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