On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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