The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
