I don't think brook has ever known best
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
