New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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