hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
