I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
