that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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