I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
