it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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