I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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