they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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