So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
