so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
