Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
