There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
