come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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