all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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