I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
