Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
