Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
