whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
