4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
