I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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