I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
