So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
