Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
