I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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