Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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