She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am midnight drunk by noon
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
