I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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