OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
