You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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