A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So vagazzling was a success
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
