dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
