So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize