Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
