ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
