Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
