I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
