Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
