no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
