Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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