Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
