walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
