I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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