You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
