everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The struggles of a small town man whore
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
