Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
