"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
