She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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