Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Do vagina's smell?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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