You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize