I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize