Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
