I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
