He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
