The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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