dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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