I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
