somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my shit smells like andre
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
