is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize