I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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